It can be really difficult to find time to spend alone together once the children have come along. However, this is essential if you are to maintain the romance in the relationship and stay together. With more than 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and 30% of those due to infidelity, don’t underestimate the importance of quality time and romance as the glue that will keep your marriage a happy one for many years to come.
Start as You Mean to Go On
Ideally, you should discuss the challenges of finding time to spend together before you ever have children. However, this is rarely the case. Most people have no idea just how much their lives are going to change when they have an infant demanding attention and being their responsibility 24/7/365 for the next 18 years minimum.
Even if they do, the best laid plans can be thrown into chaos through accident, injury, troubles with babysitters, and more.
Having said that, it is important to be honest with each other about how both partners plan to contribute to the raising of the child, and how to make time for each other. For example, many couples establish a date night that they try to stick to as best they can. They look for a regular group of sitters who will hopefully prove reliable, and as the child gets older, they might swap play dates and sleepovers so the couples involved can all manage to get quality time with their loved ones too.
Make the Most of the Days
Day times may not seem like the most romantic times to spend together, but they are better than nothing and help preserve the intimate bond. Try some blackout curtains in the summer and make the most of your child’s outside activities to reconnect with one another.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
We pay attention to the things we see. Laying out or wearing sexy lingerie can remind both partners that romance and intimacy are important parts of any close relationship.
Make the Most of Your Time after Bedtime
Try to train the children to have a set bedtime they stick to, with no coming out of the room and wandering around. Do your best never to let them sleep in your bed for any reason. A cradle or bed by the side is fine, but couples who let their child or children sleep in their bed often find it a hard habit to break.
Save the Bedroom for Sleep and Sex
One way to keep a romantic atmosphere in the bedroom is to use it only for sleep and sex. Don’t allow it to become a home office or a second family playroom. It may be tough, but couples deserve their privacy and training your children to respect that is an important part of maintaining your intimate life as a couple.
Be Grateful for the Small Moments
Holding hands, talking, and sharing activities like making dinner may seem like minor things, but the important thing to focus on when it comes to romance is that all the little things can add up to a strong bond.
Planning Ahead
Always plan ahead, but be flexible so no one gets really frustrated. Even the process of planning itself is intimate and can be a lot of fun.
Take Whatever Help You Can Get
If the grandparents are willing to take the children for a day or weekend, make the most of it. With a bit of planning and imagination, you can have a wonderfully romantic staycation at home. With a bit more planning, and money, you might even manage a short getaway to recharge your batteries as a couple.
