Most people never even think about child support unless they are involved in a divorce. If you’re the receiver of child support, it never seems like enough, and if you’re the payer, it seems like too much. But, the way each state deals with child support can cause a lot of conflicts. It’ll help though, if you both realize that once you do get a divorce or involve the state in any way with your parenting choices, you have both lost control. You have no choice because that is how the child support law works. If you realize this, you can avoid a lot of problems.
State Law Determines Child Support
Once you go to court to get a divorce or to get a child support order in the case of unmarried parents the amount is determined by law. In most states, they use a formula that includes both incomes and a range based on statistics for parents in that income level to determine the amount and each parent pays proportionally. Although some states have different rules, this is the most likely scenario.
For example, if one parent makes 75,000 a year and the other parent makes 25,000 a year and the total child support amount that parents earning 75,000 a year together statistically spend on their kids per year is according to their charts 10,000 a year. Parent 1 would pay 2/3 of 10,000 while parent two would pay 1/3 of 10,000. Usually, the parent with custody would collect the payment, but there are cases where custodial parents must pay non-custodial due to a big income disparity although it is rare.
Child Support is Not Taxable Income
When it comes to child support, the paying parent does not get to deduct it from their taxable income and the receiving parent does not claim it. Parents would be spending this money anyway if they were together. No parents get to write off their child’s expenses in an intact family, so they don’t get to if separated.
In most cases, the courts award the tax write off to the custodial parent while in some joint custody cases they’ll change the deduction year after year with one parent getting odd years and another parent getting even years. The only issue with this is that the IRS will require the non-custodial parent to get a form signed by the custodial parent to allow this to happen and will not follow court orders without that signature.
Child Support and Alimony Are Two Separate Things
One thing a lot of parents who pay child support complain about is thinking their ex is spending the child support money on themselves. It’s important to let this fight go. The law is very clear that no parent must make an accounting of the money they’re spending on the kids as they consider it household money that parents would spend anyway.
As a paying parent, you should not fight with your ex about this. If you do see legitimate issues that’s something you should bring up with your lawyer, or if your family is in counseling, with a counselor. Your ex may be willing to show you their books to curb your misunderstanding. However, try to be realistic. Unless you’re paying someone a full-time income, it’s not likely they’re spending that money on themselves.
Neither Parent Has Any Control Over This Issue
It used to be when parents got a divorce they would agree or disagree on support. Now there is a formula and judges rarely go around that formula. The best thing to do is accept this formula because it’s a lot less than what it used to be. As mentioned before most people receiving child support don’t even get enough to cover daycare much less pay for getting their nails done.
The point is though, the parent getting child support usually doesn’t have the right to refuse the support by law, especially if that is going to cause them to need to receive any government assistance in the form of health care, food support, or housing.
Separate Money from The Relationship
It can be very hard when going through this to let go of the money issue and separate it from the relationship issues. Whether your ex is paying child support or not, never use the money to keep your child from their parent.
As a paying parent or a parent ordered to pay support, don’t use this as a wedge issue. The receiving parent honestly has no choice due to the way the laws are written. In addition, it’s totally realistic that the parent providing most of the childcare and family care may not earn as much as the person who doesn’t do that. This fact isn’t going to change much just because a divorce happens.
Finally, never talk to the kids about these issues. It’s none of their business. The parents need to grow up enough to deal with these legal issues through the law and accept the ruling of the judge. Put the kids first and let go of this money issue. The money is for the kids, and most parents are doing that despite the myths.
