Two of the most important character traits you need to possess if you want to have successful 
relationships is to be honest and trustworthy. There are of course diplomatic ways to be honest so you don’t hurt each other’s feelings. But in general, being trustworthy is all about each person in the romantic partnership feeling that you prioritize the relationship, want them to be happy, and value the relationship enough to not do anything to jeopardize it.
Honesty Is the Best Policy — Most of the Time
Honesty is almost always the best policy, except in certain circumstances where a white lie might spare the other person’s feelings. For example, if your wife says to you, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” there is really no good answer other than, “You look great, honey.”
But in terms of really important things, hopefully you will discuss them before you ever commit to living together or getting married, rather than finding out the hard way afterwards. Examples where honesty is definitely required include:
* Your career
* Finances
* Living situation and what the other person can reasonably expect
* Past relationships if there is unfinished business, and particularly if there are children involved
* And so on
Being Trustworthy
This refers to you being honest about where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing. Around 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce, and 30% of those are due to infidelity.
It’s easier than you think to drift into an affair without even realizing it. Discontent at work can lead to you leaning on a colleague to the point where a “spark” starts. Add to that any discontent about your romantic relationship you are willing to share with the other person rather than your own partner, and you have a recipe for an emotional if not a physical affair.
Thinking through situations like this can help you avoid them. If you are not sure you are doing anything wrong, ask yourself if you are hiding any emails, calls, texts and so on from your partner. If you are, then your level of trustworthiness and commitment is rapidly dropping.
Having Each Other’s Backs
While many people say they married X, not their family or friends, the truth is that family and friends are part of their past and present lives and it is unreasonable to expect your partner to give them up just because you say so or don’t like them.
Your resentment might be based on insecurity about their past, such as an ex-girlfriend who has remained a friend. It could also be because their family and friends don’t treat you with the respect you feel you deserve.
This can be very painful, and has even been known to cause severe stress in a relationship. Cultural or class differences, as well as racial or educational differences, can cause some people to look down on others – making it tough for the relationship to survive.
One of the best ways to ensure that it does is to make sure you have your partner’s back and that you know it. You could say something like, “You’re entitled to your opinion, Mom, but I’ve already heard it. I don’t agree with you, and my partner deserves my respect, so I would prefer it if you kept your criticisms to yourself.”
Trust is the sum total of all the big and little things you share in a relationship. As long as you show how much you value your partnership, no mistrust should creep in.
