If you want to impress others and make the best possible impression, then there are many different things to consider. However, there is one single rule that should stand above all others – rule 101 of making the right impression.
And that rule? Stop actively trying to impress people!
This might sound a little counterintuitive, but the reality is that the more you try to impress someone, the more you will end up putting them off. In this post, we’ll examine why that is and what you should be doing instead.
Why You Should Never Try to Impress
If you begin a conversation with someone and actively try to impress them, then you can rest assured that you are going to end up having quite the opposite effect. Have you ever met someone who described themselves as hilarious or crazy? It probably made your skin crawl… Most of us know that this is something for others to say about us and not for us to say about ourselves.
And that’s what makes it so painful when we hear someone describe themselves that way – it becomes apparent that they lack self-awareness.
Not only that, but when you actively try to impress someone it also sends another message: that you want to impress them!
Why is this a problem? Simple: because the very fact that you want to impress them makes you appear more needy and less confident. By attempting to say the things you think a person wants to hear, you are actually making yourself seem as though you’re just willing to bend over to please anyone – and that’s highly unattractive.
Another problem is that people who try desperately to impress others actually lose their credibility. If someone knows that you are trying to impress them, then the things you say to them might well simply be further attempts at impressing them – rather than genuine things you are saying from the heart.
What to do Instead
Of course, this can be difficult. If we want someone to go out with us or if we’re trying to get a job role, then of course we’ll want to promote our best qualities. So what can you do instead?
The first thing to do is to start measuring yourself by your own standards. Instead of wondering if something you have said or done makes you look or sound good, instead ask yourself if you are proud of it.
Don’t be afraid to use self-deprecating jokes, or to tell someone you think they’re better at something than you. Far from making you look bad, this actually suggests that you are confident enough that you don’t feel the need to constantly prove yourself.
And from there, you then just trust that it will come out in the woodwork and that it will impress the right people.
Did you know that an author will often write background biographies for their characters, even though they never intend for them to be revealed in the films. That’s because this informs their character and comes across in subtle ways.
Do the right thing, develop yourself, become impressive. But do it for you. The right people will know.
